Aliveness and where to find it
My theory of life
My theory of life is just to maximise the amount of time spent in quadrant four.
In quadrant four you are rolling with the gang. It’s Ocean’s Eleven. There is an aliveness and a thrill that can’t be found anywhere else. Quadrant four is where the greatest memories are made.
Quadrant four is not the default
Quadrant four requires taking social risk. It is uncomfortable to initiate and easy to avoid.
By default, I will spend my time in quadrant three (Creating Alone). Many people that I know default to quadrant two (Consuming Together).
This framework is useful to me because it highlights that I must actively push myself into quadrant four. This is hard! Initiating not-chill activities requires effort, planning and social courage.
It is easy to go months, years or lifetimes without touching quadrant four, purely by avoiding discomfort.
Society is built in quadrant four
The world is strung together by those who initiate quadrant four activities. The people that we celebrate and chronicle - entrepreneurs, community leaders, directors/producers, founders of institutions - are those who invited other people to create something together.
Religion is also in quadrant four - the act of creating prayer together and singing worship. Gathering every day/week to co-create a ritual remains the most potently spiritual activity that humans have yet discovered.
In many ways, the thin-ness of life in 2025 can be explained by our drift away from quadrant four.
Quadrant four is under-supplied
You might have noticed that social media and AI have turned everyone into a helpless baby who can’t do anything and is incapable of love1. The kids are scrolling and anxious and brainrotted and lonely. We live in The Great Slopification: the internet floods with AI slurry, AI companions proliferate, and our perception of the world detaches from the world itself.
In this context, there is huge demand for reality. People are wild for:
San Francisco’s Pursuit treasure hunt
Moxie Marlinspike’s Hat Band
Toronto picnic in the park
Quadrant four activities are society’s immune response to growing social detachment. You cannot beat the desire for reality out of humans! We stand at the foot of an era that will only drive us crazier for it. If there was an index fund for touching grass, I would buy it.
Advanced social analysis
I will lastly support my theory with some extremely rigorous analysis of instagram reels.
In the name of research I went through my 600 saved reels and checked which were the most viewed. The top two:
Number one (110M views) is of some people digging a big hole in the beach and sitting in it.
Number two (33M views) consists of some French men racing their sandals along a river.
This is probably just an embarrassing reflection on my taste. But it is striking that out of the entirety of audiovisual options available to perceive on instagram, people are drawn to watching people creating something together.
The best creators use a format that guarantees quadrant four moments. You’ve probably seen the guy who walks around NYC making beats for strangers to rap on. It is impossible for him to release a video that doesn’t go viral, because watching humans create together is a guaranteed slam dunk.
Meaning is created, not discovered
It is hard to consume your way to meaning.
To build a life that fits like a glove, it is necessary to hunt down your own quadrant four. Sometimes it is found in existing groups (a dance crew, startup, theatre company, community garden, makerspace, etc). More often, you must assemble your own - particularly if you are in a city or environment that under-expresses parts of your personality.
Either way, time spent in each quadrant is a decision - one that unfolds every day.
Yeah but also reading books, visiting an art gallery alone, self-retreat meditation… this is all true until it isn’t. Perhaps solitude vs. loneliness is a helpful distinction here.
I absolutely love this. This is an incredible, insight-giving framework, very well observed - thank you.